The way back - Part I :The way for Home

It was horrible!To sit in a bus for 30 hours.After about 24 hours of crappy bus trip I made it to the border.As some of you should know, visa for Iranian natives are 3 months.I did stay in Istanbul for 5 months but I pulled out some trick to renew my visa legally.But the officer in Turkey exit border didn't stamped my passport with 'exit'.They are not stupid, he asked me what I was doing in turkey for 5 months and I replied I was working(Damn me!) then he said I sould see the other officer who was processing other passengers and those who stayed more than 2 months.He was there to receive money from this kind of Iranians.Anyway I paid 20$ to stamp my pass.
We stayed in line for half an hour before we exit Turkey.Afterward we entered Iran and stayed in line again for 2 hours before we get our entry.Then we continued in Iran.There is a place who called "Se-Rahe-e-Khoy" where is a three way junction and there is a Police("Basiji") station in there to control.We stopped there and there was this guy who get on bus and asked for passports.He wasn't wearing any uniform and didn't intrduce himself.When it was my turn to show my passport he looked at my pass and asked me what I was doing in Turkey for 5 months.I replied "I was studying for university".He told me to get packed and get down of bus.So I did as he told.I waited for this jerk with some other guys like me outside for 15 minutes.Then he get down and asked us to follow him to his office.He told us to unpack our thing on his desk in his office.He searched everthing.Of course he couldn't find anything.Then he asked me again what I was doing in there, I said "I was studying for university entrance exam of Turkey for foreigners" and showed him a special stamp on my pass regarding that.So he let me and other guys go.After about half an hour we get on bus an continued our way.We did stay for dinner and then again we moved ahead.About 10:35 I was in tabriz.I took of the bus and get myself home.My family was very happy that I was back.

Last day

This is my last at my current job,I will leave here in about 1 hour.They are preparing a goodbye for me, it's nice but not as good as money they pay!Also I am going back to Iran Tabriz tommorow noon.I will be there for 10 days, afterwards I'll come back to my new job located at Mecidiyeköy.

Farewell to all

Everyone dies, but no one really lives

It's been a while I haven't write anything.Nothing to tell I suppose.Humans get used to everything, and I used to live in a god awful mess.Anyway, I am planning to go back to Iran to get back my university papers.Also I told my current firm that I will leave the job at the end of week.New job asked me to be there on last day of august.So I have a new job, looks tough but nothing to do.
If everything goes right I will be in Iran on 20th of august,I'll take my exam and come back to Istanbul for new job on 29th.Looks creepy, what if something happens back there, like a better job with a reasonable payoff?Noooo, I don't see that happening.Well, I have nothing to say right now, see you later.

I refuse living like this

It's always the same, when you think it's all set and done something come up and ruin everything.I was looking for a new job since my income at my current firm wasn't enough.Well, I found a new job which is going to pay me more, now I should inform my current company of my leaving.And the new firm want me to start by the end of August.By the way I have an examination for "Payame-e-Noor" university in Iran in two weeks.And I want to take that exam just in case I couldn't get an admission from a European university.As you see the whole thing is a mess!

On the other hand I have to visit Iran to get my papers from university and other places.If I could arrange this I may have the best plan I ever made!

This is soooooooo. ...... not good!

I don't know why but my ex-university insist on not giving me my papers of graduation!They have just give my father the copies of everything.I don't need copies.Since the foreign universities require translated version of original papers, looks like I have to go back to Iran to straight things out.And I should leave my job for at least a week and my boss won't let that happen.Ooh, education system in Iran consist of bunch of monkeys behind desks who are entitled to help students ( just try to imagine )!

In Iran you study 11 years and receive a diploma ( Of course the never hand it to you ).Then you study a year before graduating as a Pishdaneshgahi student.Afterwards you should choose to serve in the army or go to university.Perhaps you'd chose the university but remember, even after finishing university you still have to serve at the army, no matter how old are you!Now that you have a tiny information on how thing are in Iran educational system, consider this:Your diploma and other graduation papers never given to yourself unless you finish the service in army.Things are getting complicated now:But if you manage to skip the service trough cracks of system you might as well get yourself a "Muaf" card means that you can skip the service, but only in peace time!I did that, so there shouldn't be a problem with my graduation papers.No, you're wrong!There is a 6 months(!!) waiting period, after that you might receive your papers!Now that there is less than 5 months since applications of European universities began, I have to wait for 6 months till those monkeys send me my papers.How come this is happening to me?!

By the way you might ask"So, why didn't you act earlier since you knew that?".Here is your answer, everything in my university was saved on a server(Extreme tech! Yeaaahhhh!) and somehow that server stop working for 8 months since my graduation time which is 9 months ago.That's why I couldn't act earlier.Any way, life have a crappy sense of humor over me, maybe this just one of them!

Stupid, fool, silly .... just pick one.That's what I am!

I am not good at physical jobs,like fixing cars or building a fence.Maybe I am good at mental jobs, like programming or designing(Attention!The key word in the latter sentence is Maybe).Let me give you an example, this is a very famous mathematics problem , my aunts husband told me and I couldn't find the answer.I'll explain later why.

Problem:

There were a man who had 17 cows.When he was dying asked his 3 sons to come.He told them that 1/9 of cows will be the biggest brothers,1/3 for the bigger brother and 1/2 for smallest of 3 brothers.And he dies at the moment.Question is how to divide 17 cows among three brothers with the following rules:

-No brother can give his share to other brothers

-There can't be half or any ratio except 1 for divide

Well, I gave a lot of taught to it, I tried to solve the problem with mathematics.But no acceptable results!In fact I used my mathematics which is one of my mental tools to solve.Try it and for sure you won't get a result that rules apply.

My aunts husband told me the Answer:

"Consider there were 18 cows, then there won't be any problem,right?All of brothers will have their share and none of the rules will be dominated.But there are 17 cows.So me as a friend of their father add one of my cows to their cows.It is 18 cows around now.Let's begin dividing:Since the biggest brother get 1/9 of cows his share will be 18/9 or 2.Other brothers shares are as follows:18/3 or 6 and 18/2 or 9.Now lets add up our results, 2+6+9=17!Since all of brothers have their share I have my cow back.

Cool ,right?!But wait a minute!How it can be possible?!Where is that one cow I added ?!How come this is possible?The answer is:Mathematics isn't a complete science, none of sciences are complete.So you shouldn't always rely on sciences to solve your problems.

Only persons whit perfect balance of physical experiments and mind power can solve such a problem!This is really hard and requires talent, not study.That's why I consider myself fool, pathetic or lets just say "Pure stupid"!

Why living lonely is good

1- You can have all the beer you want
2- You can hang around naked in the house
3- You may not flush every time you visit WC
4- You can sing "I am singing in the rain" whit your scratchy voice in the shower
5- You may not wash the dishes for last 2 decades
6- Cleaning your house or room is not mandatory
7- You can freely surf all the dirty web sites on the Internet
8- You can sleep till 1 pm and no one would ask you to fix the garage door on Sunday
9- You can always consider yourself sexy(despite you're the greatest looser of all time)
10- At last, you can watch the stars at night and wonder "How on earth I become so lonely"!

It's not getting easier

The programmers have the loneliest job in the whole world(my personal idea).Because it is just you and your computer.It would be good if computers could act like humans.Then it would be better that way.But they aren't and they won't.Consider yourself sitting behind a desk with a computer in front of you, and nothing else.It's like talking to a microwave oven!Programming is a tough job, you have to make all efforts to come along with computers!It's hard enough with people and suppose you do this with electric cords and chips ...!

This job has it's own benefits like high income , close to technology and all.But it's a lonesome world, the world of programmers.Maybe it's because of my job I become lonely, who knows right?!

Why I am complaining about all this stuff?I don't know why.Maybe it makes me feel good, or bad.

Life sucks...death rocks!

I saw a woman on the tramvay(a city train that travel on-ground in Istanbul).She was 50-60 I think.But she looked so upset.Circles around her eyes was so deep.With brown eyes who invite you to share her sadness.I just remembered my mom, lately she became like that woman, but my mom isn't that old.She might be the only one who always support me in every aspects of this damned hell called Life.There is so much about her that won't fit in these tiny pages of human.

Damn this life, why should life take so hard from her.I blame everyone for making she suffer.First my dad, he might be ok to his children but to her wife, he's mean and non-understanding person.He always tried to keep my mom away from his big business, he never listens to her.Even after he realize that what my mom told him was the right thing to do.Then my brothers, Reza and Farhad .Most of all Reza made her suffer with his non-sense behaviors.He is such an ass I should say.Farhad is a good guy to his family but he also suffered mom with not continuing his education.He just all of sudden get to army without any prior notice.He lost his hairs during service.I feel bad for Farhad.I like him, he is my favorite bother.On the other hand my sister Giti (oldest of all 4 children) married a lunatic guy.I don't remember the details, I was 7 when they got married.I don't think he deserves my sister.A man with limited ability of learning and old fashioned mind.They were like beauty and the beast!I love my sister but as I see how her husband makes she sad I feel so much sorrow.

Why all the sorrow comes to our family.Of course everybody have their own problems but I am sure not this kind.It's all my dads fault.I will never forget him for what he did and doing to us and my mom.

I am sure they all even me will feel regret for what we did to ourselfs one day, but I don't know when.I am hoping that moment comes as soon as possible before it's late!

Money is the key!

Turkey is really expensive comparing to Iran.For example a pack of cigarettes is 1$ in Tabriz, but in Istanbul the price is 2-4$.So this means I have to pay twice for my smoking.Or a sandwich is 50 c in Tabriz, but here it's 1-2$.City bus tickets in Tabriz are around 1 or two cents.In Istanbul it is 1 $, almost hundred times more! In Tabriz income of a programmer starts from 300$.

One of my problems here is money.My income is 600$, but I spend 500$ of it foe day to day thing, like smokes,food and a beer from time to time.Maybe I am spending too much,but if I keep up doing like this I won't be able to save some money for sure.I am looking forward for a job with better income.As I figured out if I make 1000$/month I can have a shot in being successful, at least till I get an admission from a university.Also if I enroll in an university I won't be able to work.That another problem which confuses me.My only hope is that my dad help me a little untill I can finance myself.But I don't see that happening.

Ohhhh I just hate this life,no fun at all!

Every day above ground, is a good day

Should I appreciate life for what it gived to me?Does it really gives or we try hardly to have some?When it will end?Is there an end?

I always blame god for what he give to me, in fact for what he didn't give.I am not handsome,nor tall,nor genius.I haven't achieved any good goal in my life,nor bad.I don't have a charming face,nor body.Can't say I am good at speaking,nor listening.Never studied more than an hour, never had a good chance.Even my eyes resisting to be good.I wear glasses since 12 years.Never did anything special in any kind of sports.I am not creative, not in any field.I don't have any special talent, also I think I am short on talents.So what do I have?Nothing?Exactly.But why?Do I have something special in me?Should it be?I don't know.Can't say I have good and supporting family.Every improvement in me is a direct cause of my actions, which won't worth a penny.I am not good programmer.So might end up whit this result that I am total looser.Yeah, right.Exactly.But if I don't have anything good how on earth I managed so far?Is it because "We are all fleeing in a stream, no beginning ,no end"?

Maybe I should be thankful(!) for what I have.Or should I?!I just know "Every day above ground is a good day".So enjoy my life.But how? . . .

Far far away

I don't know why but all of my friends are very far from me now.For instance Amin ,he is in Ireland.Or Ali, he is in Iran.It's like there is an invisible wall surrounded me.Or maybe I have created that. Also I don't know why I can't meet girls in my area.I met a Maimai a Philippines girl about 3 weeks ago.She is such a doll and cute.

Since I began to understanding things I loved far east Asia and their people, especially girls.Cute faces, adorable smiles and a rich culture no country ever has reached so far.Ohhhh I just love Japan.There something mysterious about Japan that facinates everyone.Japan is a example of far east Asia countries.Most of them have same attribiutes as Japan.But Japan, has something that others don't:Traditions.Their lives are so simple, even if they live in the heart of technology.This might seem a little awkward.Consider this:"Japanese are so much tight to their traditions, most of them won't learn and speak English".How's that?

They say:"Home is where your heart is".I don't think I belong to Iran.I haven't find my home yet.Maybe there is placement problem. I am so lost.But , what if Iran is my home and I don't realize?!What then?"We'll cross that bridge when we came there!"

What I am?!

I am a programmer.I have been programming for PCs for 8 years.It's a cool thing to command something, or someone(hehehehehe).

My first programming language is Visual Basic 6.0 .Even if you are not familiar with programming , its name describes how it is.First of all it's Visual, means you can see what you have created immediately.Second it's Basic,means it has a simple chain of learning.If you are interested in computer programming I suggest you to begin with VB6(Visual Basic 6.0).It's easy to learn.

Before entering university I developed hundreds of applications, but they were not commercial projects.In the university I learned C and Assembly and things I can do with them and VB.Because of my programming background, I was a better student in programming related courses during university than others.Normally my grades in those courses was (B+ (17-18)or A(19-20)).But in other lessons, not quite good,except Mathematics.

University is a fine place to be, no matter what is your study.I did lot of my colleagues projects for them.Even final projects.After this some of my friends brought me projects outside of university.Even I have teach programming to a bunch of my friends.But it's not all.Also I have teach lessons for those who were not in our university.

I skipped a lot of details.I will publish them, maybe later.